I exist as a sort of super-human woman who has both male and female strength of mind, body and presentation. My vulnerability is not the normal cliché of female inability. My vulnerabilities have been human-made through my life experiences.
Shit… it’s f’ing hard. Not usually my beautiful public school education lingo, but it’s far from ‘jolly hockeysticks darlings’. For the 8th morning in a row, my little 4 year old boy was afraid, scared, terrified about going to school.
Not all women succumb to the calling of Mother Nature to find our mate for life and make babies. My friend and I did though, with bells and whistles. Maternal instinct and a need to make sure that our children never have to grow up with the same trauma we had to turns our lives inside out and upside down.
Three days ago I was in crying desperately into my iPhone to my therapist from the torture of incessant and intrusive suicidal thoughts. The good news is that by today I am having to ‘lower’ my state of mind to write this post.