Surely the logic should follow that ones who know me best should have instant access to all that’s the truth about their friend, and the strangers should either earn my trust and become my friend, or, find my blog writings because they are kindred spirits.
Not all women succumb to the calling of Mother Nature to find our mate for life and make babies. My friend and I did though, with bells and whistles. Maternal instinct and a need to make sure that our children never have to grow up with the same trauma we had to turns our lives inside out and upside down.
Three days ago I was in crying desperately into my iPhone to my therapist from the torture of incessant and intrusive suicidal thoughts. The good news is that by today I am having to ‘lower’ my state of mind to write this post.
How do you solve a problem like this when one of the parents had a childhood of neglect and abuse by her parents and the other had the opposite, but has a day job whereby a slip of the scalpel could cost a life?
School holidays give me perspective on life. Now I’m out the other side and husband is back at work, kids back to nursery/school, I miss everyone, the lovely togetherness and long for the weekends when we can all just BE. I don’t miss the hectic mess and lack of peace at home.
It is one week and 2 days since I started taking full spectrum CBD oil. What a shock though to be hit between the eyes with the reality of the ying and yang of ‘me’ and what is is like to live with ‘me’, what it is to love and depend on ‘me’…with and without CBD.
CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a nasty piece of work. Getting away to the countryside for half term with the children was a mental mission!